From the readings and from your experience, can men and women have it all? That is, can parents have successful and fulfilling careers while also raising a family and meeting other non-work-related goals?
What does it mean to have it all to you? What examples from real life do you draw from in order to define what having a balance is? To me, “having it all” means that I’m able to find as much satisfaction as possible in the places that I’d like to find it without the requirements or obligations of those places infringing on one another. So, for example, if my personal goals were to succeed (by my own standards) at my place of work and also to take care of a family, I’d say that I “have it all” if I’m finding that I’m taking care of my family and my career in ways that I am personally satisfied. If I wasn’t able to succeed in my career as I’d like to because of the time that I’m spending with my family (or vice-versa), I wouldn’t have it all. I feel comfortable with evaluating the satisfaction I get from my various endeavors. If I liked to paint in my free time, I understand what the difference is between feeling satisfied by my own accord versus feeling satisfied because of some concrete, external goal or specific number of hours. For example, I’m able to say “Even though I only have the time to paint one hour a week, I know that I wouldn’t want to paint more than that, even if I had the time”, signaling my satisfaction with that. I prefer to spend much of my time engaged with something, so finding balance between my chosen activities is something I’ve had to do for many years. Have you ever dealt with burnout or guilt over missing out on some portion of your life? If so, describe how you dealt with this situation and what helped you overcome these difficulties. Undoubtedly. Burnout is real. To avoid burnout, one has to be very perceptive of the state of their mind and body, reacting appropriately when they find that one or both are beginning to deteriorate. It’s difficult to avoid, because in today’s connected “always-on” society, I don’t feel that we often give our mind and body the attention required to monitor ourselves in that regard. In my first couple of years here at Notre Dame, I felt pressured to perform. I felt obligated to my friends and family back home to make the most of my time here. The problem was rooted in my inexperience, thinking that the best way to do that was simply to work as hard and long as possible and that I could rest when I was done. Unsurprisingly in hindsight, I ran myself ragged, and after the first few weeks, I became increasingly unproductive and unhappy. After nearly two years of semi-proverbially bashing my head against the wall, I realized what I was doing to myself and figured that if my grades were going to suck despite how much time I’d been putting in, I may was well have poor marks and be happy and healthy. I then shifted my focus to taking care of my mind and body. After some time, I found that this paid dividends in my work, as well, as my improved health lent itself to better performance. I have since promised myself that I won’t accept being in a position where I can’t take care of myself appropriately, as that would necessitate that I’m not being the best me that I can be. And for my intended career of saving lives and having the impact that I’ll be able to, I strongly feel that sub-par performance is unacceptable. What can companies do to support their workers to find this balance and are they ethically obliged to do so? Was the opportunity for balance something that factored into your choice of career or job opportunity? Why or why not? I don’t think that companies are obligated to help their workers find this balance. I do think that they’re obligated to provide them the opportunity to find this balance and maintain it. Because certain special needs or desires may stand out from either the employee or the employer, I feel that at a minimum, both parties need to be honest about what they’re looking for and expecting from the other as they arrive at a hiring agreement. If a company’s workflow will require the employee to sacrifice more time than an average employee elsewhere, they should be comfortable discussing that and be open with sharing the limitations that this obligation may have on the employee’s time or flexibility. On the other hand, if an employee is looking to completely delve into their work and their personal definition of having it all is contained within that, they should express that they’re looking for every opportunity possible to do so as to avoid a company who believes they’re employees should put more time into other endeavors. Finally, is this balance important to you and if so, how do you hope to maintain it? What life-style changes or activities have you put in place to deal with finding a balance in your life and preventing burnout? This balance is incredibly important to me for the above reasons and I plan to maintain it by remaining focused on caring for my health and by appropriately managing my obligations and priorities to best match my personal aspirations. My hard rules general include exercising at least once every two days at a minimum, not working on schoolwork past 11pm the latest, and aiming to get at least 7 hours of sleep a day, at a minimum. Additionally, I am sure to mentally frame my free time as being conducive to my work time, realizing that I’m more productive when I’m happy, rather than viewing time spent not working as wasteful.
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AuthorNikolas Dean Brooks is a current Senior at Notre Dame. This blog is for the "Ethics and Professional Issues" course under Dr. Peter Bui. Archives |